Wednesday, November 19, 2008
finally had the time to blog awhile..had quite a hectic week..with so many practices and stuff..haha..so many people going overseas or are already overseas or are going overseas...haha..holidyas are really here man..anw..im really tired this week...was wondering about the stars..cos they are really nice and beautiful...wonder what's it's purpose in the sky?to light our path at night?but there is the moon...to be a focal point where lovers can dream about?to be something that people share in common..a hope..a wish...it's almost like looking at things so perfect..beautiful..yet so transient and can never be reached....is that meant to be?i don't know...but i really love stars..really...i love looking at them..gazing at them..see them twinlke..smile...shinning brightly as though they are wishing us well from afar..it's pretty...and it always reminds me of the goodness of God..his matchless power and glory....i wonder if stars were made..for the sole purpose of letting us gaze on them...and know and see and feel..what a mighty God we have..what a mighty God..wonders of all wonders...that such a small thing from where we are...is made by such a big God..made so intricately...and really...think about it..you will cry..cos God is just so wonderful...
I needed Jesus @ | 2:48 AM
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Monday, November 10, 2008
another week passed..it all seems so fast...next year will be the final year..before i fly into open fields and study what i really love..but thinking of leaving VJC or Victoria seems sad and really brings back fond memories that saturates my mental album till this day..the fun..the tears..the laughter..the pain..broken quite a few rules..not the major ones though..always got away with only a warning because of my sweet talk and smile...the first hug i ever had with a female...it dawn upon me that i am really growing up..maturity in thinking needs to be there..responsibilities are bound to come...am i up to it?i just don't feel right looking forward to next year..it's strange and scary..sometimes through it all..tears are just not meant to flow..they are meant to be contained..suppressed..give way to a smile that everyone expects..it's like losing self identity...lost in the mass and mess of humanity..last performance next year..nostalgic but anticipating..the last show..will it be a glittering end with the honours or just an end with gold?i don't know...i don't know..that's the best i can say..i really don't know what life has in store for me in the future...my studies career family relationships..the curious part in me really wants to see how pain is it to lose a love one to a friend...to go to a beloved's wedding knowing the groom is not me...to taste life where no one tasted before willingly...and when i cry for joy or sorrow..i know it's part of ife..sometimes..to a guy...shedding tears is more painful than bleeding...because crying is when the heart really bleeds..it's true that Jesus also cries..He even wept..must we really be ashamed of tears
?a simple smile really brightens people's life...and i really don't understand why behind a smile there maybe a dagger..behind everything pops something sinister...the facade, that veneer...will always be there unless you choose to take it off...transparency and honesty is what friends should have..no lies..no gossips...and i will sacrifice anything for the sake of my friends...maybe even love I needed Jesus @ | 8:45 PM
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haha..i felt a sudden urge to write..maybe i should just keep a dairy or journal..a more personal avenue for penning thoughts..can practice my handwriting also..haha..well..another week passed already and the o
lvls like ending in another week...er..im sorry to say that i don't really want it to end cos it shows that hols are really ending...entering the
december period...haix...i still have a lot of books to read to be able to write a good thesis and do well in my research paper...i don't know why verses of the Bible sometimes just pop into my head and i just cannot forget them..it's really strange...i don't know what it means but i know God is speaking...rather excited..God is speaking...haha..never had that before...i need to go out and play or relax...really...holidays can't be spend studying or just reading books...i have my list of things to do..but er..so far not following that list...
i wonder why and what humans usually do in the face of trouble or trials?i wonder how they react to a certain shock?i wonder how they can conceal or hide things,emotions from others so well?i wonder how they can hurt someone so deeply and care for others?it's a mystery that not only explores the discipline of sociology but
humanology...the web of relationships they draw to other people..i don't know how people can easily breakup and go out with another person?how couples can so easily evoke the rights of divorce?it's really scary...didn't they say `i love you' so many times to each other?sometimes the word`eternally' is added also...i am scared i live in this world..a slow but determined erosion of sound morals..what if the girl i love does this to me?what if this and that happens to me?what if i just pause and relax?what if i did this to someone else?what if i am the culprit?
it's so easy to see ourselves as the victims and the ones deserving sympathy..but..we should ensure we are not the culprits...to me..the three words are sacred and i am only going to say it to one and only one girl..i promise not to be the culprit and, if it is God's will, i will marry the woman i love in the future. one only.no break ups no heart aches..only serious thoughts, devoted heart and a prayerful soul.
I needed Jesus @ | 4:39 PM
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